Top 5 scariest scenarios ever!!!!!!!!( All of which have happened to me)

5. Being Propositioned by your Barber- So there you are, walking home from work, when suddenly you get a sudden urge to get your haircut.....Because however unintended, your mullet went out of fashion in 1989, and even before that the only people who wore them were slack jawed yokels from small towns with names like Bobby-Ray. So you step into a small local salon. the barber seems nice. Pakistani, mmmmm, they have great work ethic, why not? He begins to survey your head..... 'Great hair!' he declares enthusiastically. He then offers you a free hair wash! Huh, you could get used to this, getting rewards for having great hair!  He is carrying on with the apparent joy of washing your hair( maybe a bit to enthusiastically, but you don't notice).  Then you hear it.....In a hushed voice, he utters buy your ear, "You like man??".........

What do you say? We live in the 21 st century, the Age of Acceptance and tolerance. You don't want to hurt the guys feelings. "Not as much as you" you retort and then sit the rest of your cut in uncomfortable silence. Then you pay him even though he insists its free!

4. The time you got worried about testicular cancer and thought you found a lump- Hey its silly, but give yourself a break, your were like 14 at the time. You must understand that this is the most sensitive part of the male body, so you must know that the thought of a poison pumping tumor possibly being attached to your left or right knacker is a very, very scary thought. And testing for it is problematic. You are essentially looking for a lump......in a bag of lumps.

3. Being stopped by the cops with you mad cousin- Especially because your cousin has a chip on his shoulder about cops, and even though your cousin is in the wrong by driving in the one way, with his seat-belt undone and without having his drivers license on him!!!! He still proceeds to goad the fuzz on with comments like: " I am sure you have better things to do!" and "Can we hurry this up, I actually have to be somewhere!" You love your cousin dearly.....But if you get locked up because of him, your selling his ass in jail for protection! Man, never forget, that they may be fascist oinks, as he says, but they are the Fascist oinks who have the power to lock you up.......So you best be kind and fucking polite! Because you are essentially auditioning for your own freedom.

2. Being locked up in a holding cell in Gatwick Airport- Do not ask! Will tell you this though, you are in there with Drug traffickers and other low lives. So if asked what you done by the other inmates......You done Murder!!! Or at least some form of violent assault.....Also, I know you have spent twelve hours in there.....but Dont add another twelve by calling your interrogator a Shit sniffing butt monkey.

1. Toilet overflowing while you at a party- WOOOOOW, This is Scary......When you are at a party and  you flush the loo and the water level just keeps rising! You will do anything at this point to make it stop. You even try to Bargain with it, "Please Dont do this to me, I will buy you one of those nice toilet duck tablet things, Please just stop!".........But it doesn't. That is the scariest moment in any human beings life.