Top 5 weirdest music videos ever!!!!!

5. Ashes to Ashes- This video is weird in a good way, but it is weird, that is the point....It actually sort of unsettles you.

4. Friday- This is what happens when parents give into the whimpers of their children..... She begged her parents to shell out serious wonga for a music video. She released this video and soon came under fire from Justin Bieber fans. Well I think she is better the Bieber, but dont be to proud, that isn't such a huge compliment.

3. Wise Guy- Joe Pesci........What the FUCK!!!!!!!!! I could not find the actual video.....but seriously?????

2. Hooked on a Feeling- David Hasselhoff......Your manager, whoever told you this would be a worthwhile idea....Fire them!!!!!!!! I honestly would of preferred a leaked sex tape to this, if I were in your shoes

1. Anfield Rap- Well, you have a rap song(very bad rap song) + Liverpool football team of the 1980's = Fucking funny TV

Working!!!!!!!

Top 5 signs that you are an Asswhole!!!!!!!!!! OMG......You're a DICK!!!!!!!

5. You laugh passive aggressively-  Smug laughter, oooh, it grates me!!!! Passive aggressive laughing is when you have a fight with someone, and you are either in a car with them or you are stuck at work or home with them. Then after 20 minutes of awkward silence they laugh.......But not a true guttural laugh, more a forced nasally I am better than you type of laugh. Its like they are saying: "I have been reviewing the situation in my head these last 20 minutes, and I have come to the conclusion that you are very silly. Instead of telling you this I am going to laugh at you to try and undermine you sense of security, and that amuses me.... I fucking hate that, who's with me??

4.  You are a Blagger- What is a Blagger?? Well Braggers are people that boast about their achievements and Blaggers are people who lie about their achievements and then boast about them..... Like a man who comes home from work and blaggs off to his wife about how his boss is an asswhole and how his boss is so scared of him. Meanwhile he probably craps his tighty whities every time the boss walks passed his cubicle. And he probably also falls over himself to complete the most menial of task that is appointed him like a little Bitch-Boy. That is just one example but you get Blaggers in almost every context there is. The main culprits are males, but I have met a few female Blaggers

3. You write a Blog and share your angry little opinions- Not me though...... I fucking rock!!!!! OK shut up.

2. You Drive Motocross-  Now, dont worry. If you like motorbikes or drive motorbikes, this does not include you. I am talking very specifically about the sport of motocross..... They are dicks, not all of them granted, but a good 90% . Everyone I ever knew who did or still does Motocross are all world champion Pricks......My dad, The school bully, The high school bully, My babysitters boyfriend.......I am sensing a pattern here. There is nothing wrong with the sport in itself, it just seems to have a knack for attracting these wannabe alpha male.....Dicks. Girl Motocross drivers are cool, I am fine with them......The sport doesn't seem to affect them in that way.

1. You only play the piano when people are watching- I can tolerate everything else on this list, but this. You know exactly what I mean.....The pathological attention seeker!!! The sort of people that use terms like Pseudo multiculturalist to describe themselves. Or the sort of people at parties that will tap out a lovely concerto and then, just to dismiss any possible idea of them being less than brilliant, will then bring out a guitar and strum a mean solo...And then bring there unfinished sculpture...Those people. There is nothing wrong with being a renaissance person, but dont wait till you have an audience. Anyway, those people......Fuck them!!!!

Top 10 most obscure comic book hero's, and villains!!!!!!!!

10. Cat Man-  If this wasn't a DC character, The guys that brought us Batman, then I would of said that this was just a case of a rival comic house trying to feed off the Batman's popularity by creating an identical character with a few subtle differences, so as to not incur a copyright lawsuit. However it is DC who created this character....... Batman's homosexual, lame cousin

9. Angle Man- This guy was written as a quick villain for Wonder Woman by DC, come on.....again! This guys only notable power is that he has a device called the angler which can cause things that he wants to fly towards him??? Or cause him to fly to them, and it lets him warp gravity.....which wouldn't be a problem for Wonder Woman as she can fly. Not a well thought out character.

8. 3D man- Yay, the first Marvel character on the list.....This guy is described as having enhanced strength and enhanced speed, and his most bizarre power, the power to sense Skrulls( an alien race in the Marvel universe)......There are people alive today who have enhanced strength and speed, steroids hello. So this guys only power is that he can sense alien Skrulls......Pretty useless in between Skrull invasions.

7. Earl of Greed- Hmm, I wonder if he is a bad guy?? DC are so guilty of giving allot of there characters really obvious sounding names. Just in chase you are in doubt as to were they fall on the good/bad scale.....This is one of the best examples. This guys has the power to manipulate people with thoughts of being rich and powerful......Is that a power?

6. Squirrel Girl- Ahhh, this is proof that the comic bizz was running out of animals, and quickly. She has all the attributes of a Squirrel, and she can communicate with them......I think they let her into The Avengers either out of pity or a joke.

5. The Question- This guy is actually one of my favorite comic book Characters of all time. He is very obscure though..... He has no face, and suddenly this makes him a superhero? He has no powers at all, he is just a detective..... without a face, Thats the big hook.

4. Angela and the Ape- Hahahaha, I could not believe this when I first read about it!!!! This must of been in the time period when Marvel were kicking DC's butt in comic sales and they were just grasping at straws! A private detective and a giant Gorilla solve crimes in the big city.......Priceless.

3. Hawk and Dove- Two Brother Super heroes, in the same mold as Captain planet, as they have more of a political message than they do any genuine super human abilities..... They both can fly and are super strong. Brother Hawk represents aggression and Brother Dove Represents pacifism( A challenging view point for a superhero). They only ever save the day when they work together......Excuse me while I go have a big fat orgasm over world peace....

2. Granny Goodness- No its not a joke Thats her actual name.....Even when DC name a villain ironically, they still make it so dam obvious.....Apart from having a weird power rod, her only power is that she is a huge bitch.

1. Vigilante- No, I am not having a go at DC comics......I love DC comics, they are my favorite Comic house.....They have just made some very, very odd characters over the years... This guy is just a wild west gun slinger who is transported to the future( Only in some story lines, Most story lines are about his antics in the west)......He is also in the Justice league of America, which is weird as his guns are out dated and those are his only offensive power.

The List-man rests on a Sunday......catch you monday

Top 10 most weirdest subcultures!!!!!!!! Normally I am not one to judge, OK fine I am......But seriously??

10. Rockabilly-As far as I can tell the current Rockabilly revival started with a bit of 1950's obsessed Japanese people, that decided that that era was the height of fashion, music and culture.Since then it has spread to other countries...... These people can mostly be found in the clubs that they have formed together. Clubs that allow them to jive and rock around the clock, away from public ridicule.

9. Steam Punk- I have actually experienced the steam punk movement.....Sort of. Steam punk grew as literary genre, I have read a few steam punk novels, its a mix of Sci fi and Victorian history. Now though, steam punk is a fully fledged subculture. It's members can mostly be found in England..... You will know a steam punk we you see one.

8. Swingers- This first became popular in the 1970's.......Its not as cool as people might well think. People have this image that swingers are these super attractive people, but manly they are just a bunch of Fugly mingers that couldn't get it anywhere else so they had to form clubs together......They unionized basically.

7.  Trekkie culture- These are just guys(mostly but not entirely) that spend there days dressed up as there favorite Star Trek characters and debate whether Captain Kirk or Captain Picard is the best. Other activities include translating books into Klingon and not having sex, or having weird Star Trek role playing games.

6. Survivalism- These are groups of people that are actively preparing for atomic war. They are very mistrustful of there own governments, and they believe that the UN is the most evil organization on earth. They spend their time building secret bunkers and spinning theories on how the War is going to start.

5. Boer Separatist- These are mainly old school South Africans who dont like Black people or English white people or any other culturally different people. They want a separate country in South Africa for themselves.....They are allot like the Amish, only not as nice and much more militant.

4. S&M- I bet you sick bastards were waiting for this one......Hahaha, no it is very very weird to me. Even though most people are totally desensitized to it, on account of all its media attention. I have nothing against people that do it.....If its all consensual, fine whatever......I just cant rap my head around why its appealing to some people though. Controlling parents??

3. Clingfilm Bondage- This is just fuuuucked! Sorry, I just do not understand how this would even work.

2. Other kin- These are guys and girls who believe that they are really mythical creatures.......I love Lord of the Rings too, but honestly! They spend there time role playing fantasy games. Not to be confused with witchcraft culture, even though some of them do believe they are wizards.

1. Furries- The Nerds that other Nerds make fun of. For those of you that dont know. Furries are people that Dress up as cuddly animals and have parties together in the woods or at Furry conventions. The urban legends are true......They do like to donk each other in costume.

Top 5 songs that will put you in a good mood today!!!!!!

5. Dude (looks like a lady)- This song is so funny because Steve Taylor does sort of look like a lady......A lady Thats had to much plastic surgery, but a lady none the less. This is my Favorite Aerosmith song , it is simple but it is the sort of song that you can listen to easily..... And that is what this list is all about.

4. Pack up- I normally dont go for these sorts of songs, but dam this song has a great hook. Again, its very easy on the ears.

3. magic number-  No, I did not put this in number 3 spot as a joke( If you have heard the song you will know why I am saying this, If you haven't you will know soon enough). I put it here because it is not good enough for 2 or 1 and to good for 5 or 4..... Its probably the most laid back and chilled rap song out there.

2. Fun- Best song of this current year so far I think. It is a deceptively easy song, but an easy song still.....Great for the drive to or from work.

1. I wanna be sedated- I defy anyone to not grin at this song, I fucking love it.....Its guaranteed to induce spontaneous dancing or laughing, Its a happy song...

Top 10 most Disastrous mistakes in the History of the World!!!!

10. Caesar not listening to the beggars warning- Beware the Ides of March......Beware them indeed, if he had only listened he might of been saved some serious acupuncture......

9. The mid crusade swim of Freddy Barbarossa-  Another famous death here, this time the death of King Frederick Barbarossa of the Holy Roman Empire(which I have to point out had nothing to do with Rome itself). Frederick decided one season to go on crusade, which was lucky for him because France and England were planning one. "Sure" they said, "but you have the biggest army in the world! We dont have a fleet to transport it." Well Freddy scratched his head and said "Worry not, for I shall walk". Halfway there Freddy decides to have a cool down in a nearby river, but forgot to remove his armor....

8. The Treaty of Versailles- Gee this treaty really did prove that war truly does pay.....I am sure that the economic boom of the early 1920's that Europe enjoyed was in part due to this very harsh treaty. The only people not invited to the party was the German people. The Treaty totally collapsed there economy, which in tern isolated them from the rest of Europe, alienating them from the world. The end result was all this fermented the angry masses, which proved to be the perfect environment for Totalitarianism to breed.

7. Burning of the Library at Alexandria- Could the dark ages be attributed to this event? Unlikely, but I certainly dont think it helped. How many records, discoveries and histories were lost in that fire? what exactly did we lose in that fire? Sadly we will never know......

6. Russia still using the Julian Calender- Russia and Austria decide to jointly attack Napoleon's France in 1805. They decide to march into Germany and join there armies together.....The only problem is that the Austrians are using the Gregorian Calender and the Russians are using the Julian Calender. The day of the battle comes and the Russians are late!!!! They finally arrive only to find there allies beaten. With no time to deploy in any formation they throw themselves in a rash attack and get beaten completely.

5. Hitlers March on Russia- Not the first time that large mystic land has thwarted a large invading Army.....Adolf clearly was not a student of history....

4. The king locks the door to the Third estate- Pre- revolutionary France was a tense place....So the king decides to call the Estates General, which is like a parliament of the three estates that represent France. The first estate being the nobility, The church being the second and the third being the common people. After hearing what he thought was enough from the commoners, the King locked them out of the Estates General.....Mift, at this action, the third estate meets on a tennis court and proclaims a Revolution.

3. Batman and Robin- I know, I know I have had this on my lists before. This movie was just so detrimental to it genre......Spiderman was suppose to be made in 1998. After this piece of shit those plans, as well as any other plans to develop comic book movies, were scraped.

2. Bush ignores intelligence reports- We cant rely blame him.....after all he is illiterate. The big words like  'Threat' were probably to intimidating for the poor guy.

1. Napoleon invades Russia- This is number one because this mistake was made by a single man, and the mistake cost the lives of nearly one million of his own men.....Napoleon, this one was a biggie. He left France with 600 000 men and came back with 25000! And for what? Russia posed no threat at all. France was winning the war......A catastrophic mistake!

Top 5 Duo's in world history!!!!!!!!

5. Brian clough and Peter Taylor- I am sure that they did not invent the Bromance, but they certainly made it cool and all right to have one. This dynamic football duo was unstoppable, together they took a struggling Derby county side to the top of English game.....A little over 10 years later they lead a languishing Nottingham Forrest side to become the top team in England and with 2 European cups to boot.

4. Turk and J.D- ahhhhh, dont you just wish that you have a friendship like this. How may I some up their friendship? In the words of J.D and Turk then: "Its like I'v married my best friend."
                                                                       "But in a totally manly way"........Its guy love

3. Xena and Gabrielle- The one was an amazon worrier princess, the other was an adventurous peasant girl.... She taught her to fight just like Mr Miyagi taught Daniel-Sun.....Given that they solved ancient crimes, they were probably the first crime fighting Duo out there, so they deserve a mention.

2. Legolas and Gimli- Come on, if an Elf and a Dwarf could become best friends, then that gives me hope for world peace they are by far the coolest friendship in film history.

1. Chicken and Mayonnaise- Do I really have to justify this!!!! Come on everybody know its the best Duo ever. When done correctly, nothing can stop this powerful force from seducing your pallet.....mmmm I gotta go and buy some chicken now......

Top 10 most overrated things in existence!!!!!!!

10. Game of thrones- Yes, I said it! Sorry despite the rave reviews, despite nearly everyone telling me; "Dude, you love history and you love fantasy, your gonna love this its brilliant!"(I am imitating this bit of dialogue in an annoyingly high tone to illustrate my mockery of them). Despite all of that, I still thought it sucked... I wanted to say that it was just a me not getting it thing. Then I reviewed the evidence The story line is the same Fantasy tried and tested Dynastic struggle for a throne story line that has basically maintained this genre for years. The writing was nothing to write home about. Finally the costumes Dont look like they realistically fit into any culture, as they are intended to look......They look like they are props from an off Broadway stage production of The lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It is just my opinion, for heaven sake dont take it personally, I just Dont think it is very good at all.

9. The Tate modern- There are some cool stuff to see there......but then you run into a red phone on a stool and then you realize that this is the most expensive piece there. Then you see a guy sitting in a comfy chair, reading a shredded up Newspaper behind a plate glass window, some sort of social statement piece about how.....I dont know. I give up! Then you look around and you quickly realize that this is just a club house where pretentious people can meet so they can come to feel important.

8. Emigrating- So you are sick of it, and you decide to do it! Your gonna leave!!! The grass is always greener on the other side......or is it? Once on the other side you soon see that instead of load shedding, they have bankers pilfering your private accounts to fund there next snuff,snuff party. And because of financial deregulation.....its all 100% legal. Instead of high crime, you get mass complaining......honestly people just mug you in the streets to tell you there woes.....I give up!!! knife me please!!!!!!!!!! Then you make friends with your own country people because the local population has a deep burning resentment of you for stealing their jobs. Jobs that they wouldn't do anyway because the good old Guv pays them to stay at home. Then the only conversations you have with your new friends are about how great home was. So, I have to ask you........Is the grass always greener?

7. Historical Reenacting- Sure!!!! they kick me out because I have a little bit more respect for period accuracy.......At the time of the Battle of Pharsalus, The Romans were still in their Republic stage. So they would not of been wearing plate armor......That only came much later under the Princepate!!!!!!!! Fine.....I dont need your stupid Reenactment.....I will just start my own Reenactment company......... Seriously it is not as fun as it might seem.

6. Justin Bieber- I shouldn't have to explain this..... People say I should lay off him because he is suppose to be a good image for the children? Fuck that, since when did mediocrity become a good image for your children?

5. Children's Programming these days- You know what? The Disney channel is mostly to blame here although Nickelodeon is catching up. In my youth we had Animainiacs, Freakazoid, Pinky and the Brain and the Adventures of Pete and Pete.....Nowadays kids just have shitty live actions like The suit life of Zak and Cody, Kicking it, Camp Rock and High school Musical. They are all the same, Its like the directors of all these shitty programs and films were all heavily influenced by John Hughes Films.....

4. The first time you have sex- Forget about enjoying it, First time sex is so stressful!!! Am I doing this right, should I be kissing more? I hope I dont make one of those silly faces when I climax, is that even in the right place? Why are we the wrong way round? Virgin sex is a nerve racking affair..... Not for me though, ahem......I was brilliant the first time, I am generalizing......yes, generalizing.

3. The second time you have sex- Hahahaha, ditto..........except this time your thinking; "Holy shit, I got that person to sleep with me again!!!"........again...... Generalizing.

2. Smoking- I am not one of those insufferable heath freaks or anything....I just decided to try it for a week last year. I thought that with all this negative press it has to be great!!! But Naaa, I didn't get it.

1. Threesomes- I cannot speak from experience but I imagine it to be quite a harrowing experience. Guys hype it up so much, but fella's, why bite off more than you can chew?(that is so not the best phrase to use). If you struggle to satisfy one lady, Adding another lady will just compound your problem.